i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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