Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
