you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize