oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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