Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
