Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize