we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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