Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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