dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
