Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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