Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
love makes seman taste better
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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