k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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