This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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