He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
