I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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