Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The best revenge is premature balding
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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