I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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