I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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