so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
