Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
