I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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