Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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