your room smells of hookers.
And success
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
