i think my tv is drunk
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
