Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
