your thong is hanging out like whoa
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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