Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
