Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
