i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
