I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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