literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize