i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
where am i from again
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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