and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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