I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
