Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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