we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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