i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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