That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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