How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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