i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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