he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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