Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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