I wish my penis had an off switch
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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