i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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