i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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