when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Girls should come with a carfax report
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize