This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I FOUND THE LEGS
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