Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
