You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
