i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He finger blasted me like an angel dude