Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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