Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
