Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize