Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
