I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
